


next to your heartbeat

by restitched (beingothrwrldly)



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 20:41:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17291054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beingothrwrldly/pseuds/restitched
Summary: The game’s barely started when somebody bumps into Ryan from behind after the ref blows the whistle. His adrenaline kicks in immediately but when he turns to respond, Jordan is following him on the ice and grinning. “Lookin’ good,Nuge,” he says, raising his eyebrows, and Ryan laughs.





	next to your heartbeat

**Author's Note:**

> These are just a few little snapshots about Ryan Nugent-Hopkins and Jordan Oesterle being gentle and domestic with each other. This is kinda non-linear, has both past and present tense, verrry lightly researched, and I didn't show this to anybody so please ignore any mistakes, of which I'm sure there are many. I genuinely don't know how this happened. 
> 
> If you're still reading, the title is from Photograph by Ed Sheeran, and this whole thing was inspired by a literally one second long shot of these idiots gently shoving each other and then laughing about it on the ice last night (time stamp is the whistle when there's 14:04 left in the 1st period, if anyone on earth other than me is interested).

The game’s barely started when somebody bumps into Ryan from behind after the ref blows the whistle. His adrenaline kicks in immediately but when he turns to respond, Jordan is following him on the ice and grinning. “Lookin’ good, _Nuge_ ,” he says, raising his eyebrows, and Ryan laughs.

“I tried to find you earlier,” Ryan says. 

“Didn't look hard enough, bud,” Jordan says. He circles around and grins at Ryan. “Find me after, though, I'll show you a good time.”

Ryan laughs and rolls his eyes. “Gross,” he says, and Jordan laughs.

After the game, Ryan is packing up his bag when his phone lights up.

_yo bud_ , Jordan says, _lmk if u need a ride_. There's an address in the next message, and then a smiley face with closed eyes and rosy cheeks. 

_yo bud_ , he writes back. _prob easier than not, u mind?_

_nope_ , Jordan writes back. _lmk if u need help finding the garage_. This time, two smiley faces. 

Ryan smiles at his phone and tucks it into his pocket, putting his hat on backwards and picking up his bag. He turns to Connor and touches his shoulder. “Hey, you good if I go?”

Connor nods. “For sure, yeah.” He watches Ryan. “Bus leaves at ten tomorrow.”

“Mmhmm,” Ryan nods. “I'll be early, don't worry about it.”

Connor smiles at him. “When do I ever worry about you?” he asks.

Ryan raises his eyebrows and grins. “Maybe you should start,” he says, and he flashes a peace sign and walks out the door as Connor laughs. 

Jordan is leaning against his car, arms crossed over his chest, and he breaks into a smile as Ryan walks over. “Did you think I don't have your address?” Ryan asks, and Jordan pushes off the car and opens the back door. 

“Listen, I don't know where you keep your address book,” Jordan says as Ryan puts his bag in the backseat.

“I know _your_ address, dumbass,” Ryan says. He takes a step back and smiles. “Hi.”

“Wouldn’t have killed you to open with that, it's way more polite,” Jordan says, and he straightens his shoulders and smiles back. “Hi.”

Ryan closes the distance and pulls him into a hug, and he feels Jordan exhale before hugging back, turning his face against Ryan’s neck. “Sorry,” Jordan whispers.

“Don't be,” Ryan whispers back. 

They stand like that, stuck in a moment of stopped time, and then finally Jordan takes a deep breath. “You wanna go? We can go,” he says, but he doesn't let go.

“I mean, I wouldn't mind getting something to eat,” Ryan says softly. 

“Jaaack in the Box,” Jordan says in a sing-song voice, and he pokes Ryan in the ribs. “You want Jack in the Box? I'll take you.” He leans back and takes out his phone, one arm around Ryan’s waist while he clicks the screen on to check the time. “Or, hey, I'll take you to Wienerschnitzel if you want, they're open for like another hour.”

“You just want to say Wienerschnitzel all night,” Ryan says, grinning at him. 

“Mmhmm, basically.” 

“Jack in the Box is fine,” Ryan says, because he knows Jordan would rather have Jack in the Box. 

Jordan reaches up and touches Ryan’s cheek. “I miss you,” he says.

“What, even now?” Ryan watches him, studies his face. “I mean, I'm standing right here.”

“You're ruining it,” Jordan says, and he jabs a finger into Ryan’s chest. “Be serious for like, one second.”

“I miss you, too,” Ryan says. “All the time.”

“Good,” Jordan says, satisfied, and Ryan grabs his chin and kisses him.

Jordan makes a satisfied noise against his mouth and kisses back, one hand on Ryan’s side and the other pressed flat to his chest over his heart. “Oh my god, get a room!” Ryan hears somebody yell from behind him, and Jordan laughs into the kiss.

Then there's a wolf whistle, and when Ryan looks over, he sees Vinnie walking over to his car, parked a couple down from Jordan’s. 

“Would you shut the fuck up?” Jordan calls back, and he's blushing but he looks happy. “Sorry about him,” he says to Ryan, “he's a fucking _animal_.”

“You know you can do better, right?” Vinnie calls to Ryan, and he makes a phone with his hand and then he mouths _call me_ as he gets into his car. It makes Ryan laugh, and Jordan flips him off but he laughs too, and Vinnie rolls his window down and blows them a kiss as he backs out of his spot.

“C’mon,” Ryan says, smiling. “Let's get out of here.”

\- + -

Ryan doesn't remember the moment they met for the first time. He knows it was at training camp in 2014, but he doesn't remember the exact moment, and Jordan won't let him forget that he doesn't remember it.

“It wasn't remarkable or anything,” Jordan tells him one night near the end of summer. He'd flown up to Edmonton for the weekend, and they're on the couch with all the lights out and the windows open to the backyard. Ryan has his head in Jordan’s lap, and Jordan is slowly dragging his fingers through Ryan’s hair. “You were just so nice. I liked your smile.”

“What, that's it?” Ryan closes his eyes. He's heard this same story countless times.

“Mmhmm.” Jordan is quiet for a long time. “You don't have to feel bad if you don't remember,” he says, which he always says whenever they talk about this.

“I mean, shouldn't it be memorable?” Ryan opens his eyes and looks up at Jordan. 

“It's memorable to me, but maybe that wasn't the moment for you,” Jordan shrugs. “It felt kinda life-altering.”

“It didn't feel life-altering, come on,” Ryan says softly.

“Yes, it did, I've told you that,” Jordan says. He presses a thumb to the dimple in Ryan’s cheek, and he blinks quickly and says, “I love you.”

Ryan closes his eyes again. He doesn't plan to, but he says, “You should move in here,” and Jordan's hand stills in his hair. “It's okay if you don't want to,” Ryan adds quickly, “I just thought…”

“I live in Arizona,” Jordan says softly.

“Yeah, but,” Ryan says. He takes a breath and opens his eyes. “I mean, you mostly live here the rest of the time. I don't know. Maybe that's stupid, I don't know.”

Jordan doesn't say anything, and Ryan isn't sure he's breathing. 

“Just think about it,” Ryan says softly. He feels stupid.

“I don't need to think about it,” Jordan says, just as soft. “Why would I need to think about it?”

“Because you're acting like…” Ryan isn't really sure what Jordan’s acting like. 

“I mean, it's been three years,” Jordan says. 

“Yeah, it has,” Ryan says, nodding. 

“That's a long fucking time.”

Ryan smiles. “It is.”

Jordan has clothes in Ryan’s dresser, a couple of suits hanging in his closet. He has all his own toiletries next to one of the sinks in the master bathroom, and he pays the utilities when he's not even at the house. Ryan keeps two different kinds of coffee in the cupboard, and he keeps bags of frozen peaches in the freezer even though he hates peaches, because Jordan uses them in his smoothies and it’s nice, really, if Jordan doesn't have to go buy them when he's in town. 

Jordan has his own keys. He stays here during the season when Ryan is on the road.

It just makes _sense_.

“It makes sense,” Jordan finally says. Ryan wonders if Jordan can read his mind, wonders if he's thinking about the keys, the peaches, the suits in the closet. “Right?”

“I mean, I think so, but this was my idea,” Ryan says. 

“I think so, too,” Jordan says, and he smiles in a way that could break a thousand hearts. “I mean, I'd be crazy to say no.”

“You should say yes, then,” Ryan says. 

“Then I'm saying yes,” Jordan says. “Crazy not to.”

\- + -

Ryan met Jordan for the second time at the All-Star Game in 2015.

Jordan had made the trip with a bunch of the guys from Oklahoma City - Klefbom and Pitlick, Ryan vaguely remembers, but most everybody there has faded into the background in his memory. 

Except Jordan. Ryan remembers Jordan. 

They all went to dinner on Friday as a group. There were twelve people, and Ryan was at one end of the table while Jordan was at the other. Ryan was trying to pay attention to the conversations around him but he kept catching Jordan’s eye and feeling his heart beat a little faster. 

Ryan was at the bar when Jordan approached him, away from everybody else. “Hi,” Jordan said, and then he smiled. 

Ryan had to press a hand to the bar to brace himself so his knees wouldn't give out. “Hi.”

“You probably don't remember,” Jordan said, “but I'm--”

“Jordan,” Ryan said, nodding. “I remember.”

It wasn't remarkable, but it was memorable to him.

\- + -

They end up driving through Jack in the Box, and Jordan orders an obscene amount of food for two people. He makes small talk with the cashier at the window and he's charming and friendly, and Ryan watches him and feels like he's going to fall in love with Jordan, even though it's already happened.

Jordan drives a roundabout way back through town, and Ryan’s about to ask what he's doing when Jordan parallel parks and turns off the car. The streets are almost empty but everything is lit up with Christmas lights. “What is this, the scenic route home?” Ryan asks, but he gets out of the car anyway.

“I came here last week with some of the guys,” Jordan says, and he walks around the car and takes Ryan’s hand, smooth as anything. “It's nice. Festive. I thought you'd like it, even though Christmas is over.”

They walk down the sidewalk and stop every few minutes to look in the windows. Ryan never makes Jordan take selfies but he does tonight, wanting to capture these moments so he never forgets them. They walk through a park under palm trees lit up in bright blue and green, and Jordan kisses him in front of a giant Christmas ornament that's covered in bright white lights. 

“I fucking love you,” Jordan whispers, his hands fisted in the front of Ryan’s jacket.

“Ah, you're just saying that because of the lights,” Ryan whispers back, and he smiles.

\- + -

Jordan was in San Jose the night Ryan cracked his ribs.

 _please don't worry, i’m fine but just really sore_ , Ryan had texted him from the waiting room at the hospital. Connor brought him home and Ryan isn't sure how long he slept for but when he woke up, it was dusk and he could hear music coming from the kitchen. 

He laid on his back forever, until dusk turned to actual dark, trying to work up the energy to get up. Connor should've left him a bell or something, Ryan thought, but he saw his phone on the nightstand and picked it up. His sides ached, and then he saw a text from Jordan on the screen that said, _lmk when u wake up, i’m making u soup but yikes it is NOT going well._

Ryan read it over and over again and tried to figure out why Jordan would be making him soup in San Jose. _i’m awake now_ , Ryan wrote back. _why r u making me soup?_

There was a soft knock at the door and Ryan tried to push himself up on his elbows as the door opened, and a lot of things happened at once. 

Jordan flipped the light on and Ryan yelped when he was immediately blinded. “Oh my god,” he said, reaching up to block the light with one hand. He'd underestimated how little the painkillers were helping when there'd been a sharp stab of pain across the side of his torso, and he gasped and felt dizzy. 

“Shit, shit, shit,” Jordan said as he flipped the light back off, and Ryan laid on his back again and took short shallow breaths as the pain turned into a dull ache. He pinched the bridge of his nose and took a couple of deep breaths.

“I'm so sorry,” Jordan whispered.

“It's okay,” Ryan whispered back. “You're making me soup _here_ , I get it now.”

Jordan walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. There was light coming in the door from the hallway, and Ryan thought he looked like an angel. “I wanted to surprise you,” he whispered, and he carefully put his hand on Ryan's hip. “But like, soup is so hard to make. I'm heating up a can of Progresso instead, I'll probably burn you with it or something.” 

Ryan laughed and it hurt, immediately, and he winced and bit his lips. “You didn't have to come all the way here,” he whispered. “I told you I was fine.”

Jordan took Ryan's hand in the dark and held it between both of his hands. “I know, but I didn't believe you,” he said, soft and matter-of-fact. “Had to see for myself.”

\- + -

When Ryan’s alarm goes off, Jordan's side of the bed is empty. Ryan curls his hand into a fist on the empty sheet and groans into his pillow, and he's thinking about getting up when the door opens.

“You can't just stay in bed with me?” Ryan says, rolling over and sitting up against the headboard. Jordan is grinning as he walks over, balancing a tray in one hand and somehow holding two mugs of coffee by their handles in the other. “Please don't burn yourself.”

“I'm an early riser, you know that,” Jordan says as he carefully sets the mugs down on the bedside table. He still spills a little of it anyway. “I've been waiting months to make you breakfast in bed, try to be more grateful.”

There’s a bowl of fruit on the tray and a plate of pancakes that aren't quite round, but Ryan can't figure out what shape they’re supposed to be or if they're just misshapen pancakes. “Hearts,” Jordan says with a sigh. “They're supposed to be hearts, I need to get a pancake mold or something.”

Ryan smiles. “They're cute,” he says, and he looks up at Jordan. “Thank you.”

Jordan sits against the headboard next to Ryan and hooks his arm with Ryan’s while they eat the pancakes dry. “I forgot to buy syrup,” Jordan says as he rolls up one of the pancakes. “I really didn't plan this out very well.” 

Ryan laughs. “It's cute, though,” he says, and he kisses Jordan’s shoulder. “Best breakfast I've ever had, it feels really domestic. Almost normal.”

Jordan is quiet for a long time, and Ryan just lets the minutes pass. The sun is coming up outside and the sky turns from a dusty pink to gold. Ryan has to be at the bus at ten. 

This part is always hard. It never gets any easier. 

“You'll be home in less than two weeks,” Ryan finally says softly. “And then we get to see each other in February and March, and then it’ll be summer.” 

Jordan nods. “Yep.”

Ryan sighs. “This part sucks, though.”

Jordan nods again, and this time he laughs a little. “Yep.” He looks over at Ryan. “We’re doing it, though. You know? Could be worse.”

Ryan smiles at him and nods. “You're right,” he says. “Could always be worse.”


End file.
